Real Phobias...

1. Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing

2. Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. (No comment, seriously... what can you say about this one?)

3. Aulophobia- Fear of flutes.

4. Barophobia- Fear of gravity. (How does that one work??)

5. Bromidrosiphobia or Bromidrophobia- Fear of body smells. (Totally understandable)

6. Iophobia- Fear of poison. (I think I have this. Not bad, but I think I do. I am super paranoid about things that don't taste right, or if I think the seal on something doesn't pop loud enough I will throw it out.)

7. Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture. (Gallophobia, Galiophobia) (They have a phobia for any culture)

8. Geniophobia- Fear of chins. (Their own, or others chins? Or both?)

9. Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking. (MY HUSBAND HAS THIS!!!!)

10. Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women. (Fear me!! Mwa-ha ha ha ha HA! Just kidding)

There are so many phobias.
I once knew a girl who was afraid of cotton balls. I used to get a bunch off the injection cart and I'd pop them in my mouth and chew on them in front of her. I'd also tape them all over her computer monitor or her phone handle. She hated that. She couldn't touch them to get them off. We were friends, though, so she never got too mad. I didn't find a name for that one, though. But I did find some talk about it here... http://www.unusualphobias.com/cotton.html and now I feel bad.

I am scared of heights, I'll cautiously look down off a cliff if there is a safe railing. Other than that... I don't go near the edge. I'm not scared of high roller coasters of anything, though.
I'm deathly afraid of bugs, snakes and spiders. I mean... there was a big spider in my bathroom once and I had to get the neighbor to come and take it outside because Alex was gone. Strange as I am... I won't let anyone kill them.

tagged by Konny : )

Four Jobs I've Had
1. Nurse at the Asian American clinic until I moved farther than I wanted to commute.
2. Nurse at an internal medicine clinic after moving.
Sad... I never had a job until I graduated nursing school.

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. How Stella Got Her Groove Back!
2. Gladiator
3. Spiderman
4. Black Hawk Down

Four Places I've Lived
1. Seattle (born and raised)
2. Provo, Utah (Boarding school for naughty kids)
3. Snohomish, Wa.
4. Tacoma

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch
1. Survivor
2. American Idol (and I take Miss O to the concert at the end of the season too)
3. Laguna Beach on MTV (shut up... a guilty pleasure. Embarrassed to admit.. but watch it anyway)
4. OC

Four Places I've Been on Vacation
1. Disney!! So many times.... but it never gets old.
2. Hot-lanta Georgia. I visited Alex when he was in Ranger school.
3. Mexico
4. Texas, South Padre Island.

Four Blogs You Visit Daily
1. http://inhimitrust.blogspot.com/ (Only yours, Konnie!)

Four of Your Favorite Foods
1. Chicken and sausage gumbo
2. cajun chicken fetuccini (my own)
3. creme brulee
4. Vegetarian Sushi

Four Places You'd Rather Be
1. In my husbands arms... anywhere.
2. Disneyland.
3. ANYWHERE tropical, preferrably Jamaica. Stella did that to me!
4. Greece

Four Musical Artists You Love
1. Billie Holiday
2. Dave Matthews
3. Norah Jones
4. Ella Fitzgerald

Four Vehicles I've Owned
1. Pontiac Grand prix (I have no idea what year. I never added oil.. it died.)
2. A wood paneled station wagon.
3. 02 Trailblazer
4. 05 Uplander (WITH a DVD that we use! Alot.)

Four taggees: To the first 4 people to read this.... you're it!

Carmens 2 month check up...

All is good with my fatty cakes baby! She had her shots... which I hate. But I believe that immunizations are a good thing. She was weighed and measured.
Head: 60th percentile.
Length: 22 3/4 in 50-60th percentile.
Weight: 12lbs 15 oz (1 oz shy of 13 lbs!) 90th percentile!
I knew she was a chunker! Explains why she grows out of her diapers faster than I can make them. I can't wait to tell my husband what a big baby she is. She was 8lbs 11 oz at birth. In 2 months she's gained 4lb 4oz. On mamma's milk! It feels SO incredible to be able to provide EVERYTHING my baby needs to grow. So amazing.

My newest diaper creation....

How cute is this???

Dreaming.....

Of a vacation. A real vacation. A week or more someplace tropical, with turquoise water, coral reefs, fruit smoothies brought to us with umbrellas in them. Relaxing in the sun with no responsibilities. No house cleaning, no cooking, no laundry. I am dreaming of holding my baby on the beach under a huge umbrella while Alex splashes in the warm ocean with Olivia and Sofia.
There IS such a place, and I want to be there. I want my husband home, and I want US to be there.

The Seahawks....

Are going to the Superbowl. For the first time. Ever.

Does tea go bad?

I hope not. Because this is my day.
I wake up and make myself a cup of tea. (After seeing that the dog ATE HER BED) It steeps on the counter filling the air with the aroma of which ever tea I have chosen for the day. Today it was Green tea. Sounds good, right?
I make Olivia and Sofia breakfast, get Sofia in her highchair and get Olivia off to school. I notice my tea on the counter, cold now, and I pop it in the microwave for a minute. Quickly blog about my bad dog. Carmen wakes up and is demanding to be fed. Well.... what do I do? New diaper... Then feed the baby.
Time for Sofia to get out of her highchair and into the bath. Plop milkdrunk Carmen in the swing and run a bath for Sofia. Bathe, dress and diapers for Sof. Change Carmens diaper. Uh, oh. Carmen is hungry again. Sit down at the computer and feed Carmen while one handedly typing a good morning to my Man Muffin. Check the diaper and baby pages. Change another set of diapers. Pop in a load of laundry and fold a load of towels. Read Sofia her potty book, and the bees book. Go to heat up some pasta for Sofia and notice that my tea is still sitting in the microwave. Pop it in for another minute. Get Sofia in her highchair and bounce crying Carmen in my arms while getting the pasta and chicken on a plate for Sof and placing it on her highchair. Hmmm.... is she hungry? Why, yes. Feed Carmen. When Carmen is finished and sound asleep, I remember the tea. Cold again, and pop it in the microwave again. Notice Sofia has rubbed her cheesypastachicken plate all over her freshly washed head. Also notice she is asleep in her highchair. I lay her on the couch for her nap. I take my shower, finally. Sofia wakes before I can even get dressed. I get dressed by putting my jammies back on. Run another bath and toss Sofia back in. Wash her hair quickly and hear a knock at the door. Grab her out of the tub and answer the door. A nice neighbor seeing how I'm doing. My hair is still in a towel, Sofia is running around naked, Carmen is now crying because Sofia is trying to shove a binky in her mouth. Get Sofia dressed. Change diapers.
Neighbor leaves, I feed Carmen and give Sofia some juice. Olivia comes home from school and I hop on the computer to goof off for a minute or 10.
Olivia has a small tantrum because I tell her to clean her room. She comes down with more laundry and I start a load. I wash the dishes while O plays with the girls. Notice my tea. Microwave it, yet again. I'm going to drink it right away this time. Oh, I can't. It's too hot. Realize that I need to write this day down so I can look back and laugh one day. Carmen starts fussing and wants to be fed again. Carmen is in my arms sleeping and I've typed this out one handed. Now she's pooping.
Next, (after I change diapers again) I need to go start dinner and my tea is cold again. I'm going to dump it out now because I don't even want it anymore!!
I'm sure I've missed a few things.... but it's chaotic around here. And this day still has a few hours left.

BAD dog!

Ooooooh. Sadie is SUCH a BAD DOG!!! AS I was going to sleep last night I hear her chewing. I sneak up on her and see her trying to eat one of Sofias toys. So...I put her in the laundry room so she can't damage anything else. I wake up this morning and go to let her out of the laundry room and find that she ATE HER BED!

BAD BAD BAD DOG!!!! My day is starting out SO fine.

Why????????????

I walk into the gym locker room last night and the first thing I see is a big naked ass sitting bare on the bench. I look around, and sure enough... more naked asses bare on the bench. Now, I wouldn't sit my naked privates on a public seat. If I wanted a seat, I'd use a towel. But now I don't even want to put a towel down on the bench. What... so I can dry off with the germs of all those naked asses on my towel?
I just don't think it's sanitary. Is it? I mean, am I overreacting? Is it normal? Am *I* the one who's the locker room freak?

I got all 3 together!!

Kisses from Sofia!

So, I did it...

I joined a gym. And I went. I think I can do this. I feel so good today.

I'm getting out my photo equiptment and I am going to try and get the girls (Sofia) to sit still for a picture or 10. It's so hard to get a picture of them (Sofia) looking at the camera, not crying (Sofia) or not trying to run away (Sofia).
Let's see what I can get.

National Body Challenge 2006

THE WEIGH IN....
A whopping 139 pounds. And yes, for me, 139 pounds IS whopping.
Goal: lose 20 lbs
Exercise: gym 3x/week, walk 1 hour 2x/week
Foods: More whole grains, less saturated fats, cut out junk foods (I'm a junk food fiend), cut out fast foods, cut out Sodas. Definitely more fruits and vegetables.
There is NO way I'm giving up carbs. Plus... I'm breastfeeding, so I need a fair amount of food.

Next weigh in... 1 week.
I'm already scared.

The 23rd consecutive day of rain.

And it's showing no signs of stopping. It's depressing, really. It has rained every day since Dec. 19th in Seattle. The record was set in 1953 and it was 33 days. The second runner up was in 1966 and it was 25 days. We're going to beat that one. Oh, joy.

Rain doesn't usually bother me. But when you're bumming anyway... it makes it worse. If Alex were here we could snuggle up and listen to the rain like we do. I love the rain when Alex is home. I miss that man!

She's in the shop.

For a week. my poor embroidery machine. :( But at least she'll sew properly when I get her back! I haven't sewn in a while... since Carmen was born. Funny, because now I REALLY want to!

She cried for more than an hour straight!

This is a first for me. None of my babies ever really cried. Carmen cried longer that I've ever heard a baby cry tonight. She's sleeping now in her bouncy. It's the only thing that's worked. I swear. I walked her around, held her close, held her facing me, burped her, changed her, fed her, cood at her, sang to her. I set her down in the bouncy and turned on the vibrations, bounced it and she conked out. She's not wanting to nurse either. She eats a bit, gets mad and cries. I wonder what's going on. ???
I hope this doesn't turn into an every day occurrence.

I hope that bringing her to bed doesn't start another crying gig.

I have to be fair.

And show off The Divine miss O as well. She's an amazing child.

I walked away for 1 minute.....

Do I even need to say anything??

My little fatty...

She looks so much like daddy! ·:*¨¨*:·..·:*¨swoon*:·..·:*¨¨*:·..·:*¨·

I can't sleep.

What I'd give to have Alex home.

I was stuck in traffic today. And I was fuming. Until we came upon the accident and I realized that it was a bad one. A freeway closing sort of accident. A fatality accident. A flipped over, burned up truck. Nobody could have survived that. And I realized that being stuck in traffic is far better than being the cause of the traffic jam. And that I sometimes need to have more heart. Even if it were just a fender bender... I'd still rather be the one stuck in traffic and not having to deal with the problems accidents bring. So for each time I cursed under my breath when the speed limit dropped.. I'm sorry.

Gone, again.

I'm not even going to pretend that this will be easy. I dropped him off this morning for another combat deployment. I'm so sad. For the things he'll miss. For the days I'll miss.
I can see Sofia standing at the screen door shouting "Dada, DADA!" when he pulls in from work. She screams and throws herself into his arms. EVERY time. It doesn't get old for her. And I have no idea when she will notice that it will be months before she can do that again. Will it be tonight, when he doesn't come home for dinner? Will it be in a few days? Olivia understands. Carmen has no idea. But poor Sofia. She is such a daddys girl.
And I pray. I pray so hard that my husband comes home to me safely. I pray that his girls get to keep their daddy. I pray that I have the strength to do this again.

His shirt smells so good. I wonder how long the scent will linger.

Alex,

I LOVE YOU. Be careful. You're my life. My soul mate. My air. Good thing I hid your shirt. But it won't keep your scent nearly long enough.


Yours forever,
Berritt

The word "fart"

isn't in the spell check. Just a random something I learned this morning.

Sofia

I was just having one of those "Awwwwww" moments. Sofia was watching TV (I know, I'm bad) while I was checking email. I looked over at her and she's sitting about 3 inches from the screen, sort of squatting.... In a cute way. She's wearing her pink footed jammies that are too big. She reminds me of a pink bunny.
Anyway... I called over to her and she smiled a huge smile, ran over to me with her arms up and planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek when I picked her up. I LOOOOOOVE that kid! She's on my lap now, trying to break the John Coltrane CD, squirming and smelling like a fart. OK... Time to get down!

Can I keep my new butt??

My new, rounder, more voluptuous butt. But lose the rest? The belly can go. The thigh fat can go. The arm fat can go. The back fat. Oh... The back fat. How I used to make fun of people who had back fat spilling up over the backs of their too tight britches. And now I'm one of them! I am a "back fat girl".
I *should* buy a few larger pairs of pants to wear for now. I have maybe 2 pairs that I can wear now without looking like a hussy. (The jeans I have on now.... Whoa baby. Painted on. I'm NOT leaving the house in them, for sure.) But what if I get comfortable in them? What if I am destined to keep these 20 pounds?? I swear I had lost more than this by now the last time I had a baby. Maybe not. I didn't keep track. But I hate being this fat! No, I don't have issues. I swear, I don't. I just don't like weighing 140 pounds. 20 extra pounds on someone my size SHOWS. And right now, it's showing in the middle. Noticeable.... The back fat.
But I'd like to keep the butt. Ok?

Woweee. I could be a juggie!

My wonderful husband has nominated ME to be the next juggie on the Man Show. I got these boobs for the general purpose of feeding the baby. Funny, he's supposedly a butt-man. At least he IS while I have no boobs. But while I'm breastfeeding, and they elevate me to juggie status... he's a boob guy.
I say he's swine.
But I love him.

My husband, the hero....

Alex was recently awarded a bronze star. I am so proud of that man!

I swear!

And I KNOW I say this every year. Every.... single.... stinking....YEAR. I am going to do my Christmas shopping all year long.
If I see something on super-clearance (I could have snagged some of the coooooolest things) I think I'll just buy it. I'll put it in a box labeled "gifts". And whenever we need a gift, I can go in the box and get one. And by Christmas... it'll be full and we won't be scurrying around at the last minute trying to find presents for the zillion and one people that expect them.

I'm going to do it. I am. I know it.

I kind of miss it....

I miss being pregnant!!
I'm SO glad Carmen is here. But I miss the excitement of not knowing what she looked like, when she'd come, what her name would be. The kicks and rolls. The discomforts. (OK... I *can* do without those) I miss that. I'm glad she isn't our last baby. I can't wait to do it all over again.

It's amazing... this family that we're building. Now there are 5 of us. And God willing there will be more! It feels perfect to me. I know Alex REALLY wants a boy... and I do hope to give him one. I love the fact that I have all girls! I love saying "The girls" or "My girls" and making fun of my husband... "You know you are outnumbered....... For LIFE!" Because I don't think we'll be having 3 more children. And even if we did... what would the chances be that they'd all be boys?? Slim, right?

You never know, though.

Sneaker, sneaker, Christmas peeker!

Yes, you! You know who you are. You know what you did! You know you peeked!

I bought my lovely husband some merchandise off of ebay and he logged in and peeked. And I got my present back in October... so there are NO surprises in this house, this year! Oh well.... we still have LOVE! And that is all that really matters!

Dear Alex,

My husband.... I love you!!
Never in a million years would I have thought that I'd be so lucky as to find a man as amazing as you. You are perfect. You are selfless. You are brave. You are caring, loving and warm. You make people laugh. You put people at ease everywhere we go. You're a wonderful father and husband. I could go on and on and still, I could never tell you enough. Words can't even begin to express how I feel. I love you, I love you... a thousand times. I love you! I love how when we kiss I still get butterflies. I love how I melt right into your arms when we go to sleep. I love how I fit right under your chin when we embrace. I love the way you love ME! I am just so thankful that you are in my life.
Te amo, mi esposo. I NEED you. You are my air.
Love forever, your wife.

Love.....

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross"
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
And the final one --Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

Not that terribly impressed....

With the Dyson vacuum. I just HAD to have it. So we bought it last summer. Don't get me wrong.... It's an OK vacuum. It's just not SUPER.
I like how it empties with the squeeze of a lever (one handed). I like how it has no filters to replace. And I also like how you can clean the inside parts.
But....
The attachment hose is awkward at best.
It really doesn't seem to suck any better that my old vacuum.... But I will say that when the filter is clean, it does a good job. Again...My old vacuum did a good job too.
I haven't even used the accessories. Like the low reach tool that I was going to use ALL THE TIME. But that's really because I can't vacuum under my bed anyway.... where else would I push/hide/store all my crap if it weren't for the space under the bed???
So... Was it worth the money?? Maybe. And that would be just for the way it empties. Plus it's purple. But if you were to ask me if you should get one.... I'd say buy a Hoover for $100 and spend the other $300 on something fun. :) Like photography equipment, or cloth diapers!

Christmas shopping!!

We've finished buying Sofias gifts. I want to get Carmen something.... but I don't know what yet. I am half way done shopping for Miss O. I still need to get her her *big* present... I think she wants a robosapien, but she may still change her mind. We'll see what she says by the end of the week. Her list was funny. Erasers. All sorts of them. The funniest thing she wanted was a set of cheese erasers. I assume they're just cheese shaped?? I need to ask her.

I have NO idea what I'm going to get for Alex. He always says not to get him anything and we all KNOW that I can't just get him nothing..... so I am stuck. I wish he'd just tell me what he wants!! Maybe I'll get *him* some really cool cookware (I've had my eye on some bakeware at Macy's).
then maybe next year he'll tell me what he wants so I don't have to buy him something *I* want and pretend it's for him!

My poor Carmen!

She needs to see the kidney specialist. She still has a back up of fluid in her kidneys..... Bilateral hydronephrosis to be exact. The had found the fluid during my prenatal ultrasounds. They said it usually resolves itself before or shortly after birth and it hasn't.
What does it mean?? Well.... she has to take prophylactic antibiotics daily (until the problem is fixed) She needs this because the fluid that backs up can cause kidney infections. The antibiotics should prevent infection. We'll see the specialist and he will decide if Carmen needs close observation, more ultrasounds and antibiotics until resolved, or if she needs surgery because there is an actual obstruction.
Most likely, as she grows... the ureters will grow and the flow will improve. That's what they hope will happen.

I hope my little baby doesn't need surgery.

My beautiful baby.....

She is so beautiful... I need to remember every little part! Here's her baby parts collage. Something I know I will treasure forever!

My first day home alone.

It wasn't as scary as I thought it'd be. Everything did get done a little later than usual. Showers didn't happen until noon. But that's ok.
Carmen hasn't cried once. Then again, I've only put her down once. I managed to wash and dry 2 loads of laundry. It's not folded.... but it's clean! The dishes got put away. But I didn't wash any of the dirty ones.
Mostly all I did was love on my babies, and that's all I really need to do.

Carmen

Newborn babies. The smell, the fragility, the awe, the beauty, the smallness, the absolute intensity. I am amazed all over again. Words cannot even begin to express this love.

How it happened...

I was ready!The doctor stripped my membranes on Wednesday. I didn't think it would work because I wasn't crampy afterwards. I had thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. Alex's sister came in from NY and we thought it would be the perfect time to have her since we won't see her again for at least a year because she'll be getting deployed soon. Apparently Miss Carmen wanted to meet her aunt because on Friday after a shopping trip to REI, and I mean the minute I sat down in the car to go home, contractions started at about 5 minutes apart. We got home and since I thought i wasn't really in labor we ate dinner and I jumped in the bath. Contractions were then about 3-4 minutes apart. Alex convinced me it was time to go in. I was convinced they'd send me home. We got to the hospital at 11:45pm and I was contracting every 3 minutes. They determined that, yes, I was in true labor. I was 4cm and 75% effaced. I was admitted and I got an epidural. Alex and I talked about names and waited. At about 5:15 in the morning I was feeling pressure and was told I was complete. I pushed for about 3 contractions and Pip was here!We didn't name her until that night. All I knew was that she didn't look like an Astrid. Maybe the next one will?? We're all so much in love with this little girl. I'm tired and of course trying to do too much but I'm so happy!

Carmen Alexandra has arrived!

She didn't look like an Astrid at all.
November the 26th, 2005.
8lbs 11oz and 20.5" long.
We are all in love.

Remembering Sofia's birth.

Sofia was born February 16th, 2004 at 3:04 am. She weighed7lbs 8 ozs.
I had my membranes stripped on friday the 13th..... I was at 3cm.
I woke up the night of the 15th to contractions which were more painful than I thought they should be, but they were coming only every 1/2 hour, so I could still sleep between them. I knew I'd be in labor the next day. I woke up at about 8am, and the contx were still 1/2 hour apart. By 11am, I was ready to get things moving, so Alex, Olivia and I decided to walk to the store and then the post office to see if that might help progress me. Contx were then anywhere between 5 and 8 minutes apart. We walked about 1/2 block when I had a contx that had me doubled over in pain. Alex thought that we should bring Olivia to her friends house, and we should run our errands in the car, then go to the hospital. I agreed.
We got to the hospital with contx every 4-6 minutes at about 12:30pm. I was checked and the doctor told me I was at 3 almost 4cm, and that I couldn't possibly be in labor. My cervix wasn't ready, he said. He sent me home, defeated. I knew I was in labor, but I stayed home from 1:30 to 6:30. I didn't want to go back to the hospital to get sent home again. I was in the bath for the last 2 hours at home. Contx were every 4 minutes and I was crying through them. Alex was with me the whole tome. Alex told me it was time to go back to the hospital, so we went.
At the hospital, I was still crying with the contx, trying to breathe, but was so frustrated because I was afraid of being sent home again. The nurse saw my pain, and didn't even put me in triage, just led me to my room. (The first resident checked me and told me I was 10cm and needed to get ready to push.... THAT was freaky! I am glad he was wrong. I was not about ready to push without getting my epi!!) I was checked by my doctor,and I was a good 4-small 5cm.That was discouraging. This was at about 7pm. I was immediately started on an IV and labs were drawn for an epidural. An hour and a half later, I was in heaven. My mom and dad both came to meet us. I labored to 6cm with my epidural, and at about 11:30 I started to feel pressure. The nurse assured me this was normal, and it shouldn't get too bad. It did. By midnight all my feeling was back. I was at 6cm. I also had the urge to push already. They said that it was because the baby was so low, even though my cervix wasn't open enough. It happens sometimes, I guess.
I was contracting every 2 minutes and had about 30 to 45 seconds in between contx with the urge to push too early. I alternated between panic, and good breathing. (I would get checked, a little progress, but not enough in my book... I would get discouraged and panic, cry, forget to breathe.) After a while, I'd be breathing through the contractions. Get checked again, (after thinking that I had to be complete by now) with just a little more progress.. panic again. All the while they were trying new numbing meds in my epidural to see if it would help at all. It didn't. I had to fight the urge to push for 3 hours. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. Alex, my mom, dad and my nurse were all amazing and made me feel so strong. It's because of them that I made it. During my last 2 contractions before they let me push, I KNEW I was complete. It's amazing how strong that urge to push was. The good side is that she was out within 3 contractions because she was already so low. Pushing was scary. It felt good to push with the contractions, but the burning feeling was intense. I was sure I would tear end to end, but I only had 2 small tears, no stitches needed.
They announced she was a girl and put her on my chest while Alex cut the cord. She nursed immediately. While she was nursing the doctor was checking me out and delivered the placenta. Alex said that the DR put his hand right up in there and made sure my uterus was empty. I've heard of that. I did not even know. I didn't feel a thing. Her apgars were 9 and 9. She is beautiful. My father videotaped the birth, and it's amazing. (He got a wonderful angle that wasn't too revealing)
I wasn't sure how I'd feel with my mom and dad there, but I am so glad they were. It was an amazing experience and I don't think I'd even trade even the pain for anything. It's nice to know now that I can do it again, no matter how bad it hurts.
Olivia was extatic when I called her in the morning and told her she had a sister. She desperately wanted her to be a girl. I was so happy to tell her.
She is nursing every 1.5 to 2 hours, co sleeping and I love it! I am so happy, life couldn't get any better. I have been having periods where I just want to cry looking at both of my beautiful daughters, but the tears are pure joy. Life is amazing. I am making my birth announcements, and found a quote for the bottom.. I'm sure you've all seen this one:

Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were here an hour I would die for you
This is the miracle of love. -Maureen Hawkins

Being a mother is absolutely what life is all about. I love everything about Sofia and Olivia.

I've found a piece of Heaven!

Vegetarian sushi!
A little wasabi, a little soy sauce, some chopsticks! Yum-ma!
I don't really-really like the fishy kind, anyway.... I used to eat the california rolls with the imitation crab. But this. This is too good to be true. Cucumber, carrot and avacado wrapped in rice, seaweed, more rice and sesame seeds. Who'd have thought that something with so little ingredients could make me so incredibly happy.
I could kiss the chef who invented veggie sushi.

This waiting is the pits.

I know she's coming soon... And she will as soon as she's ready! But this waiting! Every twinge or pain, every little cramp..... It's like Chinese water torture. I woke up all night last night with contractions and back pain and this morning... whattya know. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

That's good, though... No, really. Because:
I want to see a movie this weekend. Have a date with Alex.... this will probably be our last weekend where we can go on a date for a long time! Alex's sister is coming up Thanksgiving to stay for the weekend, so no dates are happening then. It really WOULD be nice to have a baby by thanksgiving. Jess won't have another chance to see the baby for at least a year... Because she'll be deployed. So, Pip... if you want to meet your aunt Jessica before you can walk... you need to come out!!

BUT, I really DO want a December baby. I'm just being impatient. December is such a romantic and magical month and November is..... November.

Isn't it funny.... this is something I have absolutely NO control over and it is driving me insane.
If I had control it would be December 1st today and I would be having this baby right now. :)
Oh, and it wouldn't hurt.

Oh, My, GOSH.

OK... panic has officially set in. How stupid is it to look at pictures of labor and birth when you have NO CHOICE but to do it in the next few weeks?! I realize now that I can't change my mind. I have to push a baby out of a very small opening very soon and YES I remember EXACTLY what it feels like!!

Do you think that because the epidural wore off and wouldn't take a second time last time that it's more likely to happen again? Because I really want the epidural to work this time. I mean.... I really NEED it to work this time.
Yes, I know. I did do it. I survived. I experienced over 5 hours of unmedicated labor, pushing, crowning. Oh....and the ring of fire. So yeah, I CAN do it. I just hope that the epidural works. Because I was that screaming lunatic woman you only see on TV. And if my epidural doesn't work this time, that will be me again.
I don't know if I just have a low pain threshhold... or if some people have more painful labors. All I know is that the women who do this unmedicated, by choice, sometimes at home... wow. All I have to say is WOW. You are all amazing. (But I bet my pain is worse that yours ..wink.. )

I can't sleep....

And when I do, I don't sleep well! Unless it's midday and I'm napping with Sofia. I sleep great then! The problem is that I can't sleep for very long during that time.

I'm sitting up right now. It's about midnight. I'm snacking on Tums. Feeling the baby kick various organs... like my cervix and bladder, ribs and diaphragm... all of which cause pain, and I can't sleep. Oh, well. It's better to stay up than to toss around in bed. If I admit defeat and just stay up... then I won't be thinking of how I can't sleep. And eventually I will be tired enough to crawl back into bed. Yes... I WAS in bed. And I think I was almost asleep too. But not anymore.

Hmmm... What to do? What to do?
I'll share my 2 ALL TIME favorite pictures of the girls. These are from last summer.



I miss photography. I once had such a passion for it and somehow it fizzled. I need to get back into it. I'm hoping that it's just my fatigue that did it, and when I'm feeling myself again I'll jump back in. Having a newborn to photograph will be so much fun! There are so many poses I want to try with her. And she can't crawl (or run) away! It's just hard to do things like get down and take pictures when you feel so awful all the time. Plus, my current subjects aren't the most cooperative little things!
And anyway, how much time do I have left after sewing all these freaking diapers! (Not much...) I have 5 on the table right now in process (and almost finished) I'll add pictures when I'm done with them. I have to order 1 more batch of fabric tomorrow and the stash will be near completion. Then the only sewing I'll need to do is the sewing I want to do!
Here's the stash so far... Plus the 5 on the table and then 4 more yards of waterproof fabric that I'm ordering. So maybe 15 to 20 more?? I have 17 Sofia sized and 22 Pip sized, I think. I want to have about 24 Sofia sized and 36 Pip sized.... And that will be plenty!
http://photobucket.com/albums/d147/strawhatbratdiapers/
I'm having a ton of fun making these. I'll be sad when they're done. I'm sure I'll keep making them, though. Just not at this pace. I know I'll have too many diapers soon. And they're mostly all girly. And I bet our next baby will be a boy!

I'm TIRED!

I have dishes to do. But I don't want to do a thing! I did tidy up and vacuum today, but I can't get motivated. Where is that nesting urge? Because I really want to WANT to clean. And I SO don't.

Sofia and I took a nice nap today. I wasn't ready to get up when she did. Actually... I got up to open the door to wait for Miss Olivia and as soon as Sofia Stinkerina heard me creep out of bed her eyes popped open. I wanted to let O in, and get right back in bed. Then I wouldn't be thinking about dishes! Or about how my ribs were hurting me! Or about how I need to get to the grocery store and the weather looks too cold to even walk outside to the car so I want to stay inside with my heat up.

Ugh. I have to do those dishes.

2 cm dilated!

And I know it might (and probably does mean) absolutely NOTHING! But it's a start.
I am due in 4 weeks. 4 LONG weeks. Looooooooong weeks.
I am uncomfortable. But I am not ready for Pip (still Astrid... unless Alex wants to get hurt!) yet. I still want Sofia to be the baby for a while longer. When Pip does come, Miss Stinkerina will be a big sister. I know it will be a shock for her. I don't think she even really knows there's a baby in my belly. I honestly think she has no idea. Bt you never know. I do tell her, and she can feel her moving. but who knows what she thinks. Maybe she thinks Ive always been this huge!

We're going baby shopping this coming weekend to get all of the things I still need. Like a carseat, a bouncer, a portable swing. I still have a ton of diapers to make, and I want to make a pouch sling...BUT I may end up ordering one instead. Luckily Sofia wants to walk everywhere now, because I have no idea how to wear 2 kids! And I honestly don't think I'd really want to! Ouch. It's hard enough carrying Sofia with the baby in my belly.

Here's my 36 week belly picture. You see why I'm uncomfortable?!?!

Halloween candy is BAD.

Fun Size does NOT mean eat them all.
I will remember that next year. And No, Olivia, that's not YOUR candy you smell on my breath.

Oh my gosh!

1 more month until my baby is due!
I can't believe we are having a 3rd girl! I think the idea is settling with Alex. I know how badly he wanted a boy. Maybe next time. :) although if we ended up with all girls I would NOT be disappointed!
I love everything girly! Girly clothes, girly diapers, girly toys!

I have been having the WORST heartburn imaginable lately. The tums bottle says not to take more than 7 in a day and I take ALL 7 EVERY day! And I still have heartburn. I know it'll go away... I can do this for another month!

We may have a name. It's definitely not set in stone yet... Though we both love it. But Shhhhh! It's a secret..... We're really not telling family anymore because I'm sick of hearing other peoples negative opinions on names we love. I'll tell my mom, though... She'd never say anything negative. She's great about that.
We told a certain in-law a couple of names (not the name we have picked for now) and she flat out said... "Eeeewwwww. NO!" Ummmm..... Good thing that it's not your baby! And you're not naming her!! And now we won't tell you what her name is until she's born!!! (Well... if I have my say. Alex may spill it anyway. But I SO love this name and if she ruins it in his head I will not be happy!
The name we have picked as of now is:

Astrid Alexandra

I'm totally in LOVE with the name Astrid. The middle name I do love, but that's what I'm still thinking about. If she were born today her name would be Astrid.... no question about it. But the middle name ??? I think so, but I'm just not set.

Sadie had surgery.

They had to put her out to remove 2 tumors from her head. That was not cheap. I guess that's what happens when you have a zoo at home. Inevitably, one or more will need veterinary care. And you just do it. Because, even if you think that you don't like animals..... you realize you care more than you thought. Plus.... you don't want to look at that gross spot on her head anymore!

She's just fine now. And back to jumping on the furniture when we're not looking. She's on antibiotics and some sort of pain meds. Poor doggie. She takes her pills with cheese and I'm not even sure that she realizes that they're in there because she swallows her food whole. She should have been born a pig, not a dog.