How it happened...

I was ready!The doctor stripped my membranes on Wednesday. I didn't think it would work because I wasn't crampy afterwards. I had thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. Alex's sister came in from NY and we thought it would be the perfect time to have her since we won't see her again for at least a year because she'll be getting deployed soon. Apparently Miss Carmen wanted to meet her aunt because on Friday after a shopping trip to REI, and I mean the minute I sat down in the car to go home, contractions started at about 5 minutes apart. We got home and since I thought i wasn't really in labor we ate dinner and I jumped in the bath. Contractions were then about 3-4 minutes apart. Alex convinced me it was time to go in. I was convinced they'd send me home. We got to the hospital at 11:45pm and I was contracting every 3 minutes. They determined that, yes, I was in true labor. I was 4cm and 75% effaced. I was admitted and I got an epidural. Alex and I talked about names and waited. At about 5:15 in the morning I was feeling pressure and was told I was complete. I pushed for about 3 contractions and Pip was here!We didn't name her until that night. All I knew was that she didn't look like an Astrid. Maybe the next one will?? We're all so much in love with this little girl. I'm tired and of course trying to do too much but I'm so happy!

Carmen Alexandra has arrived!

She didn't look like an Astrid at all.
November the 26th, 2005.
8lbs 11oz and 20.5" long.
We are all in love.

Remembering Sofia's birth.

Sofia was born February 16th, 2004 at 3:04 am. She weighed7lbs 8 ozs.
I had my membranes stripped on friday the 13th..... I was at 3cm.
I woke up the night of the 15th to contractions which were more painful than I thought they should be, but they were coming only every 1/2 hour, so I could still sleep between them. I knew I'd be in labor the next day. I woke up at about 8am, and the contx were still 1/2 hour apart. By 11am, I was ready to get things moving, so Alex, Olivia and I decided to walk to the store and then the post office to see if that might help progress me. Contx were then anywhere between 5 and 8 minutes apart. We walked about 1/2 block when I had a contx that had me doubled over in pain. Alex thought that we should bring Olivia to her friends house, and we should run our errands in the car, then go to the hospital. I agreed.
We got to the hospital with contx every 4-6 minutes at about 12:30pm. I was checked and the doctor told me I was at 3 almost 4cm, and that I couldn't possibly be in labor. My cervix wasn't ready, he said. He sent me home, defeated. I knew I was in labor, but I stayed home from 1:30 to 6:30. I didn't want to go back to the hospital to get sent home again. I was in the bath for the last 2 hours at home. Contx were every 4 minutes and I was crying through them. Alex was with me the whole tome. Alex told me it was time to go back to the hospital, so we went.
At the hospital, I was still crying with the contx, trying to breathe, but was so frustrated because I was afraid of being sent home again. The nurse saw my pain, and didn't even put me in triage, just led me to my room. (The first resident checked me and told me I was 10cm and needed to get ready to push.... THAT was freaky! I am glad he was wrong. I was not about ready to push without getting my epi!!) I was checked by my doctor,and I was a good 4-small 5cm.That was discouraging. This was at about 7pm. I was immediately started on an IV and labs were drawn for an epidural. An hour and a half later, I was in heaven. My mom and dad both came to meet us. I labored to 6cm with my epidural, and at about 11:30 I started to feel pressure. The nurse assured me this was normal, and it shouldn't get too bad. It did. By midnight all my feeling was back. I was at 6cm. I also had the urge to push already. They said that it was because the baby was so low, even though my cervix wasn't open enough. It happens sometimes, I guess.
I was contracting every 2 minutes and had about 30 to 45 seconds in between contx with the urge to push too early. I alternated between panic, and good breathing. (I would get checked, a little progress, but not enough in my book... I would get discouraged and panic, cry, forget to breathe.) After a while, I'd be breathing through the contractions. Get checked again, (after thinking that I had to be complete by now) with just a little more progress.. panic again. All the while they were trying new numbing meds in my epidural to see if it would help at all. It didn't. I had to fight the urge to push for 3 hours. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. Alex, my mom, dad and my nurse were all amazing and made me feel so strong. It's because of them that I made it. During my last 2 contractions before they let me push, I KNEW I was complete. It's amazing how strong that urge to push was. The good side is that she was out within 3 contractions because she was already so low. Pushing was scary. It felt good to push with the contractions, but the burning feeling was intense. I was sure I would tear end to end, but I only had 2 small tears, no stitches needed.
They announced she was a girl and put her on my chest while Alex cut the cord. She nursed immediately. While she was nursing the doctor was checking me out and delivered the placenta. Alex said that the DR put his hand right up in there and made sure my uterus was empty. I've heard of that. I did not even know. I didn't feel a thing. Her apgars were 9 and 9. She is beautiful. My father videotaped the birth, and it's amazing. (He got a wonderful angle that wasn't too revealing)
I wasn't sure how I'd feel with my mom and dad there, but I am so glad they were. It was an amazing experience and I don't think I'd even trade even the pain for anything. It's nice to know now that I can do it again, no matter how bad it hurts.
Olivia was extatic when I called her in the morning and told her she had a sister. She desperately wanted her to be a girl. I was so happy to tell her.
She is nursing every 1.5 to 2 hours, co sleeping and I love it! I am so happy, life couldn't get any better. I have been having periods where I just want to cry looking at both of my beautiful daughters, but the tears are pure joy. Life is amazing. I am making my birth announcements, and found a quote for the bottom.. I'm sure you've all seen this one:

Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were here an hour I would die for you
This is the miracle of love. -Maureen Hawkins

Being a mother is absolutely what life is all about. I love everything about Sofia and Olivia.

I've found a piece of Heaven!

Vegetarian sushi!
A little wasabi, a little soy sauce, some chopsticks! Yum-ma!
I don't really-really like the fishy kind, anyway.... I used to eat the california rolls with the imitation crab. But this. This is too good to be true. Cucumber, carrot and avacado wrapped in rice, seaweed, more rice and sesame seeds. Who'd have thought that something with so little ingredients could make me so incredibly happy.
I could kiss the chef who invented veggie sushi.

This waiting is the pits.

I know she's coming soon... And she will as soon as she's ready! But this waiting! Every twinge or pain, every little cramp..... It's like Chinese water torture. I woke up all night last night with contractions and back pain and this morning... whattya know. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

That's good, though... No, really. Because:
I want to see a movie this weekend. Have a date with Alex.... this will probably be our last weekend where we can go on a date for a long time! Alex's sister is coming up Thanksgiving to stay for the weekend, so no dates are happening then. It really WOULD be nice to have a baby by thanksgiving. Jess won't have another chance to see the baby for at least a year... Because she'll be deployed. So, Pip... if you want to meet your aunt Jessica before you can walk... you need to come out!!

BUT, I really DO want a December baby. I'm just being impatient. December is such a romantic and magical month and November is..... November.

Isn't it funny.... this is something I have absolutely NO control over and it is driving me insane.
If I had control it would be December 1st today and I would be having this baby right now. :)
Oh, and it wouldn't hurt.

Oh, My, GOSH.

OK... panic has officially set in. How stupid is it to look at pictures of labor and birth when you have NO CHOICE but to do it in the next few weeks?! I realize now that I can't change my mind. I have to push a baby out of a very small opening very soon and YES I remember EXACTLY what it feels like!!

Do you think that because the epidural wore off and wouldn't take a second time last time that it's more likely to happen again? Because I really want the epidural to work this time. I mean.... I really NEED it to work this time.
Yes, I know. I did do it. I survived. I experienced over 5 hours of unmedicated labor, pushing, crowning. Oh....and the ring of fire. So yeah, I CAN do it. I just hope that the epidural works. Because I was that screaming lunatic woman you only see on TV. And if my epidural doesn't work this time, that will be me again.
I don't know if I just have a low pain threshhold... or if some people have more painful labors. All I know is that the women who do this unmedicated, by choice, sometimes at home... wow. All I have to say is WOW. You are all amazing. (But I bet my pain is worse that yours ..wink.. )

I can't sleep....

And when I do, I don't sleep well! Unless it's midday and I'm napping with Sofia. I sleep great then! The problem is that I can't sleep for very long during that time.

I'm sitting up right now. It's about midnight. I'm snacking on Tums. Feeling the baby kick various organs... like my cervix and bladder, ribs and diaphragm... all of which cause pain, and I can't sleep. Oh, well. It's better to stay up than to toss around in bed. If I admit defeat and just stay up... then I won't be thinking of how I can't sleep. And eventually I will be tired enough to crawl back into bed. Yes... I WAS in bed. And I think I was almost asleep too. But not anymore.

Hmmm... What to do? What to do?
I'll share my 2 ALL TIME favorite pictures of the girls. These are from last summer.



I miss photography. I once had such a passion for it and somehow it fizzled. I need to get back into it. I'm hoping that it's just my fatigue that did it, and when I'm feeling myself again I'll jump back in. Having a newborn to photograph will be so much fun! There are so many poses I want to try with her. And she can't crawl (or run) away! It's just hard to do things like get down and take pictures when you feel so awful all the time. Plus, my current subjects aren't the most cooperative little things!
And anyway, how much time do I have left after sewing all these freaking diapers! (Not much...) I have 5 on the table right now in process (and almost finished) I'll add pictures when I'm done with them. I have to order 1 more batch of fabric tomorrow and the stash will be near completion. Then the only sewing I'll need to do is the sewing I want to do!
Here's the stash so far... Plus the 5 on the table and then 4 more yards of waterproof fabric that I'm ordering. So maybe 15 to 20 more?? I have 17 Sofia sized and 22 Pip sized, I think. I want to have about 24 Sofia sized and 36 Pip sized.... And that will be plenty!
http://photobucket.com/albums/d147/strawhatbratdiapers/
I'm having a ton of fun making these. I'll be sad when they're done. I'm sure I'll keep making them, though. Just not at this pace. I know I'll have too many diapers soon. And they're mostly all girly. And I bet our next baby will be a boy!

I'm TIRED!

I have dishes to do. But I don't want to do a thing! I did tidy up and vacuum today, but I can't get motivated. Where is that nesting urge? Because I really want to WANT to clean. And I SO don't.

Sofia and I took a nice nap today. I wasn't ready to get up when she did. Actually... I got up to open the door to wait for Miss Olivia and as soon as Sofia Stinkerina heard me creep out of bed her eyes popped open. I wanted to let O in, and get right back in bed. Then I wouldn't be thinking about dishes! Or about how my ribs were hurting me! Or about how I need to get to the grocery store and the weather looks too cold to even walk outside to the car so I want to stay inside with my heat up.

Ugh. I have to do those dishes.

2 cm dilated!

And I know it might (and probably does mean) absolutely NOTHING! But it's a start.
I am due in 4 weeks. 4 LONG weeks. Looooooooong weeks.
I am uncomfortable. But I am not ready for Pip (still Astrid... unless Alex wants to get hurt!) yet. I still want Sofia to be the baby for a while longer. When Pip does come, Miss Stinkerina will be a big sister. I know it will be a shock for her. I don't think she even really knows there's a baby in my belly. I honestly think she has no idea. Bt you never know. I do tell her, and she can feel her moving. but who knows what she thinks. Maybe she thinks Ive always been this huge!

We're going baby shopping this coming weekend to get all of the things I still need. Like a carseat, a bouncer, a portable swing. I still have a ton of diapers to make, and I want to make a pouch sling...BUT I may end up ordering one instead. Luckily Sofia wants to walk everywhere now, because I have no idea how to wear 2 kids! And I honestly don't think I'd really want to! Ouch. It's hard enough carrying Sofia with the baby in my belly.

Here's my 36 week belly picture. You see why I'm uncomfortable?!?!

Halloween candy is BAD.

Fun Size does NOT mean eat them all.
I will remember that next year. And No, Olivia, that's not YOUR candy you smell on my breath.

Oh my gosh!

1 more month until my baby is due!
I can't believe we are having a 3rd girl! I think the idea is settling with Alex. I know how badly he wanted a boy. Maybe next time. :) although if we ended up with all girls I would NOT be disappointed!
I love everything girly! Girly clothes, girly diapers, girly toys!

I have been having the WORST heartburn imaginable lately. The tums bottle says not to take more than 7 in a day and I take ALL 7 EVERY day! And I still have heartburn. I know it'll go away... I can do this for another month!

We may have a name. It's definitely not set in stone yet... Though we both love it. But Shhhhh! It's a secret..... We're really not telling family anymore because I'm sick of hearing other peoples negative opinions on names we love. I'll tell my mom, though... She'd never say anything negative. She's great about that.
We told a certain in-law a couple of names (not the name we have picked for now) and she flat out said... "Eeeewwwww. NO!" Ummmm..... Good thing that it's not your baby! And you're not naming her!! And now we won't tell you what her name is until she's born!!! (Well... if I have my say. Alex may spill it anyway. But I SO love this name and if she ruins it in his head I will not be happy!
The name we have picked as of now is:

Astrid Alexandra

I'm totally in LOVE with the name Astrid. The middle name I do love, but that's what I'm still thinking about. If she were born today her name would be Astrid.... no question about it. But the middle name ??? I think so, but I'm just not set.